My Love My Fate - Relationships/Crushes

Have you ever had talks with a fate believer like ayc? She's really intense and it all came from one thing.. LOVE

Puppy Love Stage

My puppy love stage came about in middle school when I fell deeply for a guy who I met in grade 6. I liked him for a little more than 4 years. He was my best friend throughout the time, since I didn't really bond with any of my girls until later on. The first day in this new neighborhood, I bumped into him after school. He came up to me and asked "Hey, aren't you the new girl in my class?" Of course, timid me would hold my voice. Then, I thought to myself, what a loser - trying so hard to know every girl in school. Well, that was how it all started. He was such a c*ck blocker. Any guy who approached me were shot off by him, but I enjoyed the possessiveness for some reason. Then the whole time, he was stuck in mind as a person who I hated. Funny part was that I liked him all along. We had stupid moments in class where he would hold my hand and not let go during class the discussions and games. I remember reading time was the cutest, he was in my group and he would lay on my lap while everyone was reading. The other group members thought we were the weirdest "things". Cause of course back then, who does that? Back in grade school, we had a class trip that took us away for a week and the whole time, this guy was glued to me. The most memorable part of it was when we were both stuck at the bottom of this hill that was right behind the cabin. What happen was, I don't know how I ended up there but I did and I just couldn't walk up the hill, it was icy and snowy. For some odd reason, no help screamed and he showed up at the hill top. Cute part was he tried to "rescue" me and ended up sliding down himself. What a smart thing to do, we were both stuck then. For the longest time, while other people we gathering in the cabin, we were trying to walk up the hill "together" which was twice as hard. Then this classmate came and was like "what the hell are you two doing down there? get up!". And we were like "if we could we wouldn't be all dirty and shit". Surprisingly, we tried again and we got up easy. It was the funniest thing ever. Then came middle school, we were then separated cause I was in French Immersion but our friendship grew from there. The unforgettable bike riding times are still freshly stuck in my mind whenever I think about the old times.

Stupid Stage

After the four year crush, I gave my mind away to three other guys in High school. A guy for a few months in grade 10. A guy for two weeks in the summer of grade 10 and a school year in grade 11 to a not so boyfriend, friend.

First Real Relationship

My first real relationship was given to a guy named William Davidson (July 20, 1983); yes a White guy. I met him through my cousin for her wedding in 2000 and he was my date, who was also the best man. He asked me out shortly after we met but it wasn't until the 6th time that he tried and two years later that we started on December 24th, 2002. It was Christmas Eve and it was the sweetest magical moment ever. During the party at his house, I was forced to pick up his phone when he "went to the washroom". The voice on the other line was dying on me so I was forced out to the backyard. The voice finally cleared up but all it said was "3, 2, 1" and the whole garden and pool lit up with Christmas lights and fireworks were in the air. The scene was magnificently beautiful, there he was with a bouquet of red roses. As an eighteen year old, I fell deeply for that. In fact, even now I would; I'm just one of those girls who fall for typical sweetness. He asked me to be his girlfriend and nodded naturally as if I was hypnotize by his magic. Honestly, if it wasn't for the scene, I wouldn't have said yes since I didn't really like him that way. I only saw him as a close friend. But anyway, we dated for four months until I found out some Asian chick was pregnant with his child that resulted from a one night stand. We were totally through. A few months later, I get a call from this guy who wanted me back when the baby came out fully Asian. I couldn't help it but to laugh to myself. Technically, he didn't do wrong to me since him and that girl had a thing going on when we weren't together BUT he knew about the baby all along and kept it from me. It was just too much for an 18 year old to deal so I chose to walk off.

Magical Love Story

[read Prince Charming]

Second Real Relationship

Since the fairytale of the magical love story, I gave up on dealing with guys, until I met Adrian Kwan (March 24, 1982) during the summer of 2004. Adrian Kwan, 24, Chinese, 5″11-12. When I first met this guy, I was instantly attracted to his physical appearance. He was within a group of good looking guys, being one of the two hottest guys there. I thought he was Korean at first; who would have thought a Chinese guy would be chilling with a bunch of Korean dudes. The location was Galaxy Lounge in Mississauga, which is no longer there anymore. He caught my eyes from across the lounge, in the private darts room, which the guys have it reserved every night. I remember exactly what I had that night, house coffee and a slice of tiramisu - what a weirdo. Coffee, at a bar? “Are you crazy?”, people would say but that’s what also caught his attention. However, I didn't do that purposely; I really wanted a coffee. Strange Asian girl enjoying her coffee under club music. A week or two later, got to formally talk to him. I was invited to join their friends in the darts room and he came to talk to me. Of course, it wasn’t an attraction that he had, he was more interested in the "prince charming" who was on my mind, his “enemy”. So with not so good of an intention, he made his way into my life. Did whatever he could to "break" us up. Nothing worked. It wasn’t until 3 months later, that I realized he had fallen for real. The real chase then started. Adrian is a possessive and ambitious Aries guy. If he wants something, he has to have it sooner or later. The other party does not need to be considered. But no matter how determined he was, I was also determined to stay with the one in my heart. He had no choice but to accept it. So he stood by my side and waited. Though, it wasn’t a patient wait, it was a sincere wait. Through the hardest time of that year, he stood by me and did whatever he could to make things better and easier, even if that meant self sacrifice. What a silly boy. It’s not worth it. One way love can’t move a mountain, nor can it live to the end. Well, he finally got what he waited for but is it fully what he wanted? Has his determination change? I didn't know but certainly felt that I was treated even better as his girl. Though, at times I felt objectified but that is justifiable. Winning a girl over amongst a few guys, how can you not be proud? Besides the magical love that I felt towards "prince charming", I would say he's next to that. Then, I knew I fell for hard and I got scared. However, because of this, being with him increased my insecurities and with curiosity of what could have been or might have happened; I chose to let him go. We got back together for a while but ended up breaking up again because of his distance career opportunity. That made the relationship my longest of 7-8 months. Because it was such a painful breakup with betrayal acting on it, I was able to pull myself back out from the dark hole. On the path of liking him, I lost a friend and gained three admirers. 3 to 1, it's still a gain.

The Capricorn Crush

First time ever crushing on a Capricorn guy. I only met him 4-5 times but every interaction brings a rapid heart beating cycle. I thought my heart long died and it'll never react again but surprisingly, this guy was able to bring back the sparks. I've never had this feeling in so long that when it did happen, it scared me for a bit. I might not like him as much as I think but the night he held my hand and took me through the crowd is still freshly in my mind. I tend to fall for people who I can't have and distance is always a barrier but I guess that's fate. It wasn't meant to be. A spark is still a spark. It won't last very long and soon, this feeling would fade away and I'll go back to my six year story. Sometimes, I do wish I've never met him. Then it wouldn't torture me as much.

Third Real & Current Relationship

Not until I met him that I truly experienced a real relationship. After the harsh breakup with Adrian and ending of the fairytale love; my heart went cold and I never thought I would let myself fall again.  This relationship bloomed on February 24, 2006. The beauty of relationship was the unintentional comfort and companionship that developed so quickly. Many first times were shared and it just felt so real. This feeling I never had with anyone else but him. I first met him at the club Afterlife; through my godsister's ex boyfriend. I was instantly attracted to him by a vibe he sent out on first impression - nothing physical or spiritual.  Through the influences of friends, I grew a fonder feeling towards that first impression. Little did I know it was returned. A week later, we chilled again. After getting to know each other a bit more, we started moving on from there. Being a girl who's inexperience and who never believed in casual dating, I remember scaring the guy with a question, "so after tonight what are we?". As impulsive as a typical Aries, I killed the beginning and rushed into things too quickly but we started anyway. I saw many dreams, ambitions, intelligence and a lot of rational wisdom in this guy and admired him for that.  I enjoy the intellectual conversation that we had and every pillow talk that gotten us closer. Although, I never imagined myself to be with someone like him; I now came to see a future with someone like him. Memories with him is still freshly playing on my mind at all times. Through this short period of time, we've been through so much together - lots of drama, ups and downs, happy and sad, thick and thin. We once came to ask ourselves, "what would have happened if we didn't meet?". I can't even imagine now. I believe we were meant to find each other at this given place and time. However, this isn't an easy relationship; it takes a lot of effort to maintain and grow. I do have faith. Finding him, I found my stability and comfort. I found no place safer than to be in his arms and in his presence. The fear of falling which I had in the beginning is no longer there because I realized, I'm falling for someone worthwhile. I gave up many dreams for the relationship because I do know this relationship isn't strong enough to face the challenge of distance. Although, things aren't going as well as I expected as of right now because of the outer forces of life, I have no regrets. I'm looking forward to many more stories with him. He is my "Dummy Bear".